Connecting with Your Shadow Feminine (and How to Heal Your Life)

Connecting with Your Shadow Feminine (and how it can heal your life).png

The season of darkness is upon us; the time of year when the days are short & the nights are long. We are now in the dark side of the Yearly Cycle.

This is the time of shadow and darkness.

Your shadow side is where we try to minimize or even hide the parts of ourselves we consider undesirable. Those parts of ourselves we don’t want anyone else to see. It holds the parts of ourselves we think aren’t good enough for anyone to witness.

We show up in the world, in our relationships, on job interviews, in our businesses, with our families desperately trying to be sweetness and light, trying to be anyone but ourselves.

Here’s the thing. Your Shadow holds deep & profound beauty. And wisdom.

In fact, real power is understanding that we can choose between dwelling in our darkness or dancing in our light.

You see, our greatest strengths are also our worst flaws. They are inextricably connected. They are two sides of the same coin.

Too often, this shadow is outside of our consciousness or awareness. Most of us believe that our shadow is entirely negative but it is merely a reflection of something that does want to be expressed so it can be integrated into our consciousness, healed and reclaimed.

Where there is light there is shadow.... and where there is shadow, there must be light.

Just as the moon goes from darkness to fully alight so you are darkness and light…. You are the two faces of Venus. Both sides have value and, when balanced, create a perfect symphony of skills, talents and gifts. If left unchecked, your passions can run amok and turn into a destructive force. Think for a moment about how passion can descend into obsession.

It has happened many times in my past. Most recently I became so fixated on a particular project that I didn’t eat, drink (anything but coffee), or sleep for more than 36 hours. I became anxious and angry and anyone including my children who dared enter my lair where I was working did so at their own peril. I was very passionate about my project (which is very light) but passion descended into a drive that was deep into my shadow. My healthy ambition drove me to crippling perfectionism.

When you get to know that side of yourself, when you reintegrate those parts you’ve tried to deny & push away, then your spirit is able to grow & evolve more wholly & deeply.
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How to connect to our Shadow Feminine

Because our shadow is often in our unconscious mind we need to find a language in order for that to be unconscious to become conscious.

Meditation helps us connect on a soul level. This short, 15-minute, guided meditation introduces you to your Shadow Feminine & opens you up to the gifts & wisdom she has to offer you.

After the meditation I encourage you to spend some time journaling & jot down any wisdom or insight you received during the meditation. (You can read about my own experience below.)

What I learned from my Shadow Feminine

When my Shadow Feminine first arrived at the fire I couldn’t see her clearly. She was still very much in shadow for me. But she definitely felt like a goddess. She felt wise. And sacred. And gorgeous.

We held hands immediately. Tightly. Lovingly. It felt very familiar. She felt like a dear friend that I haven’t seen in years. I just wanted to hold onto her & not let her go.

I stared deeply at her. She had all my attention and I asked her the questions in the meditation. And her answers came to me like a lightening bolt. I just heard these words spoken immediately in my head* …

(*Also, journaling about my experience immediately after the meditation really helped solidify her message. Even after the meditation, I still felt very connected to this part of myself & the wisdom she was happy to impart.)

1. What have you come here to tell me today?

“That you are on the right path! You’re actually already exactly where you need to be.” Right now. Already.

Don’t worry about this world’s measures of success right now. Everything is happening on a cosmic level. Don’t stress. All the energy is aligning. And everything is getting ready to burst.

Just trust.

It’s all within you.

Everything you want. Everything you need. It is within you already.

2. What do you need from me?


You need to be patient. You can’t see everything that’s happening right now. It’s the shadow. It’s hidden. But it is all happening.

Be patient. Just keep moving forward and you will see results in this material world.

3. How can I incorporate you into my life?

Just Be.

Be open. Be accepting. And receive.

And … breathe.

4. What is your gift?

Everything,” she told me.

(And, seriously, that gave me shivers. It literally sent a jolt through my body.)


The gift our Shadow gives us is … Everything.

5. Is there anything else my Shadow wants to tell me?

To allow her to integrate!!

She was really insistent. And sad. She just wants me to let her out.

She told me, “Don’t be afraid … Now is the time.” And, that she needs me to integrate her into my life!

And then we said goodbye. And we embraced in a very deep, very loving, long, familiar hug.

It really was a very lovely, and inspiring meditation.

And meeting my Shadow Feminine–experiencing her as this very wise, beautiful, powerful goddess–definitely makes me feel a whole lot more accepting of her. And accepting of myself.

It really makes me feel more tolerant of those parts of myself I try to hide. And I feel inspired to get to know my Shadow side more deeply - what other seeds of wisdom does she have to tell me?!