Energetic Cords: Understanding the Energetic Ties that Bind (and Sometimes Gag!)

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While living in Washington DC I fell in love deeply with a man that was destined to end from the beginning. He was a defense attache and had attachments that really precluded him from being in a relationship. While it was ending I met his best friend (I’ll call him the General) and all I can say is HOLY COW what a connection we had! It was palpable from the very first moment we laid eyes on each other. When my relationship ended, the General, who was in town for a few weeks, and I met for drinks to discuss the ending of the relationship. Of course we talked for all of about 2 minutes about this and spent the next 8 years in arguably one of the most intense relationships I have ever experienced.

To say I loved this man deeply would not describe the feelings between us. This relationship came at a heavy price for everyone involved. It broke the hearts of many men that pursued me including the one I had loved before. In fact, one night in Washington DC the General had come to visit for a few days. The Defense Attache, who is still his best friend, came to take us to dinner knowing that I was there assisting the General with a dissertation. Upon asking to use the bathroom he discovered several personal items in the bathroom and my watch (that he had given me) by the bedside table and my overnight case on the bed. There was no denying that I wasn’t just correcting the General’s grammar and body language clearly pointed to me being deeply loved by the General.

That dinner was the most uncomfortable dinner I have ever had in my life! The electricity at that table watching two men I deeply loved, one my past the other my present, vying over who loved me more was enough to send me crying to the ladies’ room. The energetic cords not only between me and the Defense Attache and me and the General but between the General and the Defense attache were so clear and it was those cords that bound me for the next 8 years of my life. I moved countries for those cords, three times. I couldn’t breathe from those cords.

You see, in 8 years of a relationship I always knew when they were thinking of me. I could feel when they were near. Over the next few years I cut the cords between me and the Defense Attache but the General was so tied me to I could feel the tears shed and shed so many myself I was drowning in an ocean. And in 8 years I only saw the General 15 days. 15 days!!! In 8 years of a relationship we were only together 15 days!! THAT is how strong my energetic cords were between us.

These were not healthy cords where there was a vibrant exchange of emotions and Source love where the cords run heart to heart rather one of obsessiveness, manipulation, possession (on both parts) that ran from the heart chakra to the solar plexus. I couldn’t move on no matter how much I knew I needed to and he couldn’t let me go.

It wasn’t until I moved for the third time to be closer to him that I saw the madness of the relationship and sought to pull the cords. Shortly after I did my own energetic cord pulling I met my husband.

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I had created the situation exactly as I had manifested it years early. That’s another story for another time but I had created a situation that brought me exactly what I believed I wanted and yet, I was completely paralyzed by that creation. In this case, the energetic cords were multiple and most definitely not healthy.

Essentially a cord is a mental and or emotional connection or attachment to someone or something that both gives and receives energy (much like an electrical cord). We consciously and unconsciously create cords with numerous things and people in our lives whether we we desire it or not. If you think about it we're all like energetic versions of spiders weaving a web of interconnectedness. 

Cords are emotional strands of energy that form through time or space. You can be corded to a deceased friend or loved one either negatively or positively and can still have energetic cords to past lives. The first cord we create is to our mothers when we are conceived. The emotional energy the mother sends out to the unborn child (positive or negative) is energetically connected to the child and helps to set the tone for bonding throughout the mother/child relationship.

The strongest cords are attachments to those we spend the greatest amount of time or energy with such as friends, family and even coworkers.

You can energetically chord to ideas as well. You might be cording to me reading this post. Think of the current situation in the United States. How many people are energetically connected to the ideas of Trump? How many people are energetically tethered to diets such as Veganism or the Paleo movement? These may seem like innocuous examples but have you ever tried to eat a steak around a Vegan?

If there is a strong emotional attachment the energetic cords will be stronger.

In your academic career can you think of a teacher or professor whose class you couldn’t wait to attend?? Maybe you felt connected to an inspirational speaker or an author. Because energetic cords usually form by connecting the chakra centers to the corresponding chakra we are “plugged into” this particular cord may be attached to the 5th or throat chakra as that represents the exchange of ideas and mental energy.

Conversely, a strong sexual relationship or even the desire one might cord from the root chakra or the second chakra which correspond to sexuality and desire. Every person we sleep with we cord to. (Yes, even one night stands!) This is why our “hook up” culture can complicate our lives so much because every sexual partner creates cords. In fact, every sexual partner they have had creates cords so, before you know it, it’s one big web of complication.

Cords are sticky ropes of emotional and mental energy. This can explain why we fall in love so quickly and have such a hard time separating ourselves from the relationship. Yes, physically there are so many biochemical responses going on including the release or endorphins and hormones but energetically there are actually ropes binding us.

Have you ever wondered how an intuitive works with with their gifts of clairvoyance, clairsentience, clairaudience or claircognizance? This is where energetic cording comes in handy. When a question is asked and/or a name is given an intuitive sends out an intention of desire for information and, essentially, uses a cord to gather information. When I work, whether it is using my intuitive gifts or as a healer I am careful to always do an energetic disconnect between all parties involved and myself so I don’t keep any active cords.

You don’t have to be an intuitive to use energetic cords to gain information. Have you ever thought about someone and then a few seconds later they call? This is because you either sent out a cording signal or they picked up on yours. Either way you received the intuitive information before the physical confirmation via your cording. 

We can cord into anyone and anything at anytime, however the strength of the cord depends on the amount of time/energy/emotion we put into thinking about that thing. Have you ever been on one date with a guy that didn’t call you back? Or worse, after you slept with him very quickly and you assumed you had a great connection and then he just “ghosted” you? Many women, after this happens, call the guy, sometimes several times, or incessantly text them hoping to kindle some sort of energy. What usually happens? Well, all this energy creates a thick cord of emotional energy that could either bring them closer or, if they don't like the energy you're sending out, could repulse them. Whatever the case, the stronger the thought and emotional output the stronger the cording.

You cord to strangers you meet but those cords dissipate very quickly after your interaction unless there is a karmic tie that already exists needing working out. If those karmic ties exist then the meeting of a stranger may cause a stronger cord to be formed and they may leave a lasting impression on you. I once met a man who followed me into a book store in Paris. Our eyes met, smiles were exchanged but nothing more. Every time I am in Paris I still search in the crowd for a glimpse of those eyes.

I’ve already given you examples of cording into ideas but did you know you can cord into places as well? I have corded into places like China, the South of France, (and Paris, oh Paris!) London, a temple in Knossos, Crete, Santorini (both in Greece) and Florence, Italy. These places resonate from my very soul due to past life connections and simply matching the vibrations with a few of these places. In fact, I have left pieces of my soul in parts of the world. As a result of this cording, the London attacks and Paris bombings really hit me hard because I have both positive and negative limbic associations with these places.

You can cord to movies, books and music in both negative and positive ways. I cannot watch a horror film to save my life. Not only do I not like them but I have very violent reactions to many of them if I even see a preview. I have an affinity for jazz because I am deeply corded to the genre of the music. While I do read a lot to continue my education my cords run to Russian literature. And I can think of the movie “Practical Magic” and my soul just sings. Can you think of any reactions (positive or negative) that you have to books, movies or music?

But wait. With all these cords what if we don’t want some of them? Well, they can be eliminated… much of the time. Cords can be severed by imagining a sword or knife cutting through the cord. Since the cord is nothing more than mental/emotional energy, and energy follows thought this can sometimes be enough to sever the cord. This is how most practitioners do it. I prefer the “pulling” method as it prevents energy “leaks” from the parties. When I was doing the energy work for the cords between me and the General I cut the ties a few times. Because many cords are notoriously tacky they may take time and repetition to sever. In the case of the General, as a result of the cutting, I got very ill for a period of time to the point I couldn’t get out of bed. When I met one of my mentors who pulled the cords free and sealed off the energy. I now do this when working with clients to prevent energy based illnesses.

Some cords are not severable due to the karmic contract you have with the person/place/thing that needs to be played out. Also you could decide to pull a cord but the person it is attached to desires the cord energetically so even after pulling the cord it may return repeatedly. This is when a “Cleanse and Protect” comes in handy.

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Understanding the effects of energetic cording in our relationships and, indeed, our entire lives is vital to maintaining every aspect of our mind/body/ spirit health. Practicing “seeing” and acknowledging these cords with practices like meditation can be an important part of maintaining that health as I have, even in my functional wellness practice, seen very spiritual reasons for very physical ailments.

Have you ever wondered why so many celebrities are faced with crippling depression, some even resulting in suicide? While, of course, there may be many factors, energetic cording can be one factor because celebrities can be corded by millions of people (think of fans that would do ANYTHING for a piece of that celebrity) . It can be overwhelming to say the least. If that celebrity is even the least bit empathic they are likely to feel the intense energy of so many people corded to them that they feel an increasing lack of privacy even when alone. In the beginning, this cording might be energizing but as time goes by it can be completely draining tantamount to being parasitic.


Today I invite you to look at all the energetic cords attached to you. Are their cords you can pull? In what ways can you pull some cords that are no longer serving you? Many times performing some sort ritual can help to sever a cord like burning pictures of your ex is enough to sever a cord. Fire helps to symbolically and energetically cleanse your energy of unwanted “junk”.

Mindfulness about our cordings can help us take stock of what we're giving or taking energy from that may not be helpful to us. Sometimes we hold onto energetic cordings out of habit. The time has come to let them go. Moving on will allow us to drop any cords that are not serving us easily and painlessly. Pulling cords can be challenging but letting go of lower vibrational cords can allow in higher vibrational matches and that is always positive for our lives.